Today marks the day that our family said good bye to what we called home for 20+ years, thought it has only been 3 years it truly feels like we have been here forever and America is just a place we’ve visited. Each year Facebook graciously reminds me of our last day with our families before stepping on an airplane to begin our 32 hour trek to the rest of our lives. It shows me photos of our families at Fisherman’s Wharf, eating delicious food and our cushy hotel room. Each year my family tags me in photos and in the comments they attach sad emoji’s and the words “I miss you so much” This journey that I call my life has been something that is hard to explain, many cannot comprehend what we were thinking the day we decided to move to Africa. Sheesh, I’m not even sure I knew what I was really getting myself into when I voiced my idea. But here I sit in my block house listening to the rain hit my asbestos roof top and hoping that it stops so my laundry hanging outside will dry. So what was I thinking the day we decided to go to Africa? It was January 2013 when the Lord decided that we would be going to Harvest School, in my mind it was the following fall and I had plenty of time to manage my emotions and spend a bit more time with friends and family. Well, that changed… We met with Pastor Jim mid February and told him our plans, and “next year” became “this year” REAL QUICK… leaving me with only 7 months to get my mind in order. It was so soon, a thought became a reality in an instant, and I will admit I kind of freaked out a bit. My perspective on all things changed that day. We were youth pastors at the time and each time I would go to youth group I would sob knowing that I was leaving, asking myself, what more should I have or could I have done? I would hug my nieces and nephews knowing that I would miss so much of their precious lives. I watched my niece graduate from 8th grade knowing that when I returned she could be married and having children of her own. I was selling all my belongings, everything that I bought with the intention of keeping forever, wedding gifts, children’s furniture, toys, shoes, cars. It seems like a simple task, it’s just stuff right?!?... Yes, but it truly was one of the most difficult things for me. It was a time of counting the cost, finding security in the truth of the word, and relying on the Lord to carry me though. This was all before we even left for real, we were only going for 3 months and I was struggling hard, but I knew in my mind this was the first step to something MUCH bigger, and MUCH, MUCH harder. When we returned to America we still had no idea what we were doing but we knew that we would be leaving soon, when we decided to move to Dondo, things got real (if they could even get more real). Our families were falling apart, I mean what parent wants their children and grandchildren to move across the world, to the land of unknown and possibility of disease and death? It was chaos for sometime, and in many areas still is but God is good in all things. He helps mend the broken hearted. So now what? We have been here for 3 years already, would I call what I’ve done a sacrifice? No, I am simply doing what the Lord commanded me to do, He said GO out into all the land. I would however, consider sending my only son to die on the cross for the sins of the world, hoping that all the earth would come to know the truth through this great act of love, but knowing full well that many will not -- a true sacrifice. I have simply taken a small portion of my life and given it to the Lord to do what He wants with it. Is it hard? Is what hard? Living in Africa? Missing my family and friends? Yes, it truly is. Is it hard enough to make me want to quit? No way, I plan to run this race with endurance, and finish strong. As much as I know it hurts my family to have us away, for the physical disconnect and lack of communication I hope they know we miss them and that there is spot in our hearts that hopes one day God will allow us to call America home again, that we will be able to go to hockey games, and fair shows, birthday parties and graduations. Until then my hope rests in knowing Him and that He directs my paths. So when I look back on these past three years what stands out? Should I be real and raw here or just give a simple answer… I think I will let it go I want my heart to be made known. A lot can happen in three years. We have a 3rd CHILD! How weird it must have been for our families to greet us at the airport and boom there is one more person than when they last saw us. My niece is graduating high-school and welcoming her first baby this year. So I’m basically going to be a great aunt! My sister whom I have prayed for the last 11 years is clean and sober and going to church. We have seen hundreds saved, set free and healed over these past 3 years. Churches established, people in the jails come to know Christ. Discipleship books written and dispersed throughout the country, friendships made, lives transformed buy the knowledge of the gospel. These 3 years have also brought tragedy and heartbreak, I’ve had grieving mothers needing help with dead babies who have died the most heinous, unwarranted deaths, pastors lose their way and walk away from the church, ungodly amounts of corruption and lies, friends be robbed, sick children, malaria, and loneliness. We want you to know that were so blessed to have been able to welcome our church team from Faith Tabernacle. The two weeks that they spent with us came and went but they were packed full of ministry, miracles and memories. It truly was the best gift our church has ever given us. To have family (church family and biological) come and share with us in what we do here was the most amazing thing, we call this home and we live this life, but sometimes it is hard to live it alone without those we love, you see when we left we didn’t just leave a mother, a father, a brother or a sister, a niece, nephew, cousin, aunt or uncle, we left EVERYTHING all things we knew, understood, and loved, we didn’t have other brothers or sisters or children here to help us manage those losses. So when we had the opportunity to invite our friends and family into our home for the first time it truly was spectacular. Thank You For Visiting Us Faith Tabernacle 3 years down, and many more to come. God is good and He is so worth the small “sacrifices”. How can I say to God “ look at what I have already given you” when He is the one who gave me everything I have to give? All I have is His.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Archives
May 2021
Categories
All
|